LIFE IS A PAIR OF DUCKS

"Bless me Father for I have sinned." But not real badly. ...I hope anyway. I can easily drift off, be distracted, lose concentration, get lost in some tangential thought or have a long, involved daydream. Over the years this has improved some but apparently not that much. I can look at one You Tube of those audition shows where everyone wonders why the contestant is there in the first place then they wow the audience and the judges with their amazing voice and soul. Even with knowing that some of this has to be a put on, it's still rather exciting, tearful and memorable. Then of course, I have to watch another one. Four hours later, I start to get a little jaded. It's obvious that a recent death in the family or anything to do with cancer goes a long way. And I have to question why there's always one or two guys in the wing that are rubbing up against the contestant's mother or significant other. You just know there's some real groping when the camera isn't on them.

But this is only one kind of magical moment to get lost in. I love it when someone in the produce section of a grocery store begins to sing a familiar American pop song. That's a special moment in itself but then one by one others join in. And soon the aisles are full of a harmonious sound and dancing. Most of shoppers' faces express unexpected joy and happiness. Some, no doubt, are irritated with the interruption. Probably the last thing they wanted was an encounter with a magic moment. Mass breakouts or flash mobs happen in food courts and churches, at concerts and weddings (I haven't seen one happen at a funeral, but it's only time before one does), and on streets and buses, almost anyplace where the unusual can disrupt the properness of commonality.  

It's just as easy to get lost watching military service people come home early from their last deployment to surprise family, friends or pets. Some of the children's responses can be heartbreaking and so genuine. They may be why I keep watching. Having been in that situation during the Vietnam War, I can better imagine my return home as a surprise. ____But things were different then. I love how pets get so excited when they see their service member after such a long time. Note: it's usually dogs; cats want an explanation for the absence. Thoughts of pets then remind me that there are an endless number of puppy and kitten videos to watch. The cuteness factor is off the chart, but the animal rescue stories are the best. Transformations through love and care are always inspiring signs of hope.

Surprising magical moments, whether real or contrived, are few as compared to the day in and day out routines of life. Sure, there's a spiritual understanding that says ordinary life can be magical and we would do well to be grateful for all the little moments that fill our day. I trust that I never get to the place where sunrises and sunsets are just part of another uneventful day. But even if the many moments of sublimity aren't considered as commonplace, they don't make up for the less than magical realities of life. I mean all of life, not just the little corner that I live in. 

Because the great teacher lived high on a mountain that was far from the village, a young man was sent on the journey to ask him what life was all about, as there was such a dissension amongst the villagers. When he returned, he told them that the great teacher said if they truly wanted to know, they would have to send the oldest man in the village. After along while, the old man finally returned. The villagers excitedly asked what the great teacher said hoping that he had confirmed what they believed. The old man told them the great teacher said that life was a pair of ducks. They immediately asked if the great teacher said anything else. The old man replied, "He said it was the only thing that made sense." With that, the villagers were sad, as no one had picked a pair of ducks to be what life was all about.

MODERNITY AND MATURITY

Punishment for blasphemy is such a moving target. One person's pardon is another person's beheading. The severity involved seems to come from believing that God is offended by disobedience, disrespect, disbelief or distain of sacred teachings, sacred rules, sacred things and sacred persons. Then of course, if God is offended then so should any faithful follower. And this brings them right up against modernity, as have so many other fortressed institutions, ethnocentric cultures, corporate practices, and manipulated justices.

It's hard to maintain a futurist faith when the world with some of the most amazing advances could be done in by primitive religion, sectarian politics, classism, racism and gross disparity. Apparently, cockroaches and some other specialized creatures are the only ones that can survive the destruction of the earth. I can only hope that they then evolve in a more civilized way. 

But first, let us take a moment to appreciate all that some would readily throw away. Even with the tragic natural events, the Earth is a special creation that I am daily in awe of and grateful for. The other thing is the anticipation of how far science can go in discovery and development. I'm pretty happy with what has been accomplished thus far, but in so many ways, we're only at the beginning.

Humans do well in the physical realm, not so great in the mental and emotional realms, and quite poorly in the spiritual realm. (tasks, elements, aspects or something similar could be used just as well) One might theorize that the mental, emotional and spiritual realms need to catch up to the physical in order to best utilize future advances. Such might be problematic to say the least but one area that would help in a big way is maturity. Which usually means doing what is best for all, making the difficult choice, defending the weak and innocent, knowing what needs to be done, keeping on task, changing when needed, admitting that you made a mistake, and accepting that if you get nothing beyond having your basic needs meant that it will be okay with you.

Modernity comes with it's own particular set of problems. But these will be better resolved if we 'really' believe that all humans are created equal. You can't make yourself more equal but many still try. You can make yourself less equal, which many have done but usually deny it. Also, the more we apply the Golden Rule, the more we will appreciate being equal to others. The problem of superiority is active in every area of life. Some might say that's just the way things are. Or, it's a practical way to order society. Funny how intellect, wealth and position along with race and culture are the usual considerations to determine superiority. ...But why? It's rather obvious that those with a pure and clean heart should have been given more attention. But just not automatically assuming that others are inferior by some subjective or learned standard would be a good start. Not killing or assaulting them would be even better.

PRACTICAL MYSTICISM

I would like to think that in most ways, I'm a practical mystic. I don't have to drudge up an encounter with the divine in order to feel good about my place in the universe. In fact, I've wondered if I'm a little too content with the spiritual wonders of creation that occupy my life I see, hear, and feel on a daily basis. Hopefully, I will also that keep in mind how unfathomable and unexplainable the pure essence of God truly is.  But given that I don't pursue extraordinary mystical experiences on a regular basis, I've come to wonder if I'm that much of a mystic or even a practical mystic to begin with. It just might be that I'm plain lazy. So basically, the truth might be that I'm an impractical mystic. I'm not sure. 

I attended Practical Bible Training School. I don't think I ever figured out the practical part. And of course for fun, it at times it was called the Impractical Bible Training School. Either one was good for me. I also worked as an LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse) and often referred to myself as an LIP. But I got it. In that being something practical might be as far as I would get in life. And it pretty much turned out that way. Mainly because I really didn't fit into any place that well. So when I came to mysticism, I never thought I'd be seen any other way. But it doesn't matter anymore. Because the only thing that really matters is how honestly I see myself.

Here are some practical things that I really like or am too lazy to challenge or change.

1. I don't need to know 2 or 3 other languages to get what the Bible really says to me. Besides, those who do don't exactly agree. I'd rather pick what makes some kind of sense or that which leaves me in awe. Life is much too short to worry about anything that doesn't fit into the golden rule.

2. I have Sundays off now. I never miss an early football game or NASCAR race. I can also make my own hymn selections from iTunes, skip taking up the offering, forego the morning sermon and go straight to the coffee hour. However, I do miss The Eucharist.

3. I don't have to say as many Hail Mary's and Our Father's. Apparently, BVM and our father in heaven can hear me the first time. But a few extras don't hurt.

4. I try to maintain a big picture of life and not get bogged down with what is wrong in and out of church. The complete picture includes all the goodness and wonder of creation and my being a creature in it. And sometimes, just being in the presence of that awareness lifts me to amazing heights.

5. My only daily spiritual practice is gratefulness. But if you could hear me swear when my oxygen tube gets caught on something, you would think otherwise. I'm still thankful that there are so many opportunities to appreciate the simple things and to be able to give thanks for all of the abundance in an ordinary day.

6. I can let Jesus be Jesus. I don't have to make him after my own likes and dislikes. It's okay if he doesn't like Neo-Impressionism as much as I do. WWJD? is often asked. I don't have to answer the question. I know that's being rather lazy. But for me, it's better than being so absolute about which political party he would join.

7. I don't have to convince anyone else of the error of their way or the rightness of mine. I believe that differences will work themselves out, even the ones that seem immoveable. Of course, there's always the chance that new differences will arise.

8. One of the best things is having no food restrictions. I just love pork and other evil delights. I can think of some foods that "ought" to be banned though. But under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act I only have to eat them at same sex weddings. In addition, there's no mandatory fasting, even though once and a while wouldn't hurt.

9. I can laugh. You might say, "Well, of course you can." But so many know laughing about the sacred is looked down on, sternly dealt with or even punished. I can laugh or make light because so many claims of understanding the divine are rather imperfect. Laughing shows us how far we have fallen short.

10. Couldn't think of a 10th one, so 9 it is.

I believe, and you certainly don't have to, we all are on these amazing spiritual journeys that can differ in almost every way but are headed toward the same goal. This can put you in unexpected places, at unexpected times, with unexpected people. Some don't have to go very far to accomplish the goal or complete the journey; others will have traveled great distances in order to do the same thing. I would only say that the externals of the journey don't equal the internals. You cannot tell where a person is at by appearance or presupposition. ...As practical or as impractical as that may seem.

INNER LIFE

Ever since I was kid and had any awareness of it, I always thought the inner life of thoughts, feelings, emotions, fears, desires, dialogues, memories and whatever else makes up our internal selves was rather odd. What was it all about? I wondered if my dog had the same inner activity. In a way, I liked to think that he did. Back then, it basically came down to feeling good or feeling bad. When feeling bad, I couldn't wait to get back to feeling good. Which, more often than not, was getting off the naughty list anyway way I could. But later on, I realized this inner thing was a great place to hide the stuff I didn't want anyone to ever know about. If I lied and didn't get caught at it, only I would know the truth. I was likely a little sociopathic but not so much as to dismiss guilt, shame and culpability. I planned to deal with any eternal consequences later on. 

Beyond concealing the unacceptable, there was an increased wonder as to my inner attraction to nature. For me there was nothing better. Then later on, there were plenty of other things to wonder about. There was a world to explore or a cosmos if you have a really good imagination or a big ass telescope. In contrast to this ultimate outer reality, I heard that our inner space was as vast as outer space. Perhaps it was only meant to be a statement on our neglect of inner selves, but I was inclined to believe that it was true in some ways. At my worst and at my best, I realized that there was still more there. As uncomfortable as that was and how I usually returned to a more familiar orientation as soon as possible, I knew I had more exploring to do. 

So, it was even more a wonder why so much of my inner life was limited to my usual and very familiar place from where most actions in and reactions to the outer world occurred.  This could easily be an inner center but I was surprised by all that it dealt with or brought to the fore. Like those embarrassing moments that were stuck in our crawls ...as it where. We apparently don't remember things as they really happened. Which might mean that we're the only one consumed by a particular ignorant behavior or faux pas. The question then is why out of so many embarrassing moments, regrettable interactions and awkward situations, it was those distinct few that continue to repeat and repeat with the rush of shame. But that was only a small part of the inner construct that can with computer precision process a lot of complicated material. 

It's a little strange to write about something that you need in order to write or do most everything else. Even more interesting to me are the constant dialogues and soliloquies that can fluctuate from thoughtful introspection to deranged entertainment. Typically, we run mental pro and con lists, revisit arguments in search of better comebacks, entertain fantasies, cheerlead a faltering enthusiasm, and are endlessly gleeful over accomplishments big or small. Sometimes, it gets pretty busy in there. Sometimes, we're overwhelmed with worry and fear, sometimes with sensation and desire.

At times, I've felt trapped in a juggernaut that was out of control. At other times, I've felt a deep inner peace that came from a most re-assuring connection to a spiritual universe. Most of the time however, I'm feeling the push and pull of living in world that considers the lives of the rich and famous to be more important than the various forms of disposable humanity which mostly consist of women and children.

So many times I've heard that something was taken out of context. But more often than not, those contexts were rather limited. Perhaps life is supposed to be an ever-expanding context and that's why we are only willing to take it so far. The full context is quite uncomfortable and forbids us to live in our little worlds were we are content with a fabricated cover that explains how everything goes together. It is only in the fullest context of hate, starvation, war, inhumanity, greed, and, and murder as well as love, kindness, generosity, peace, compassion, and caring that questions can even begin to be fully answered. And where human worth can start be measured by smiles of recognition, hugs of acceptance and handshakes of sincerity instead of by position, wealth, education, looks, skin color, talents, religion, or the number of friends on Facebook.

If we never say anything, our worst and our best can be well hidden. But how much of that lies behind the ills of the world. How much does racism, superiority, power, position, greed and privilege play in the inability to address the worlds ills? But how many times have good intentions failed, been abused or had other agendas? How many have given up on making any difference citing too many complications, too much opposition, or too many disappointments? How many have adopted a winners and losers philosophy believing that's just the way things are? ....Or perhaps, the more we understand about our inner world the more we will the outer one. And that just might make a difference.

MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH!

It might be that I'm the Maxwell Smart of the spiritual life. So many times I came really close to true enlightenment then for one reason or the other I changed direction. Sometimes it was in a small way but most of the time, it was a big enough change to make me very uncomfortable. But since being uncomfortable in my spiritual journey wasn't anything new, I didn't question the continued trek as much as I should have.

If you never get to where you are going, you end up discovering many other things about the spiritual life. They are not necessarily great insights or experiences but rather just stuff or "copy" as Nora Ephron would say. Some places along the way had at first that "I finally arrived" feeling, you know that sense that this is "my heart's true home." I never doubted that I wouldn't fit in like at the other places I had considered the place I was meant to be. For sure this was it, I did not have to think about the possibility of there being some other place. I looked forward to fitting into the community and growing in the shared faith.

I have to admit that sometimes I was almost giddy with being in the right place spiritually. At other times, I was obsessed. Everything came after or inline with this place of contentment, comfort, and consciousness. There was nothing else to worry about because everything was covered one-way or the other. My previous faults and failures didn't matter because this time it was going to be different.

Time is a funny thing. And given enough time, I think I could find fault with sitting in the chair at the Right Hand of The Father, when Jesus wasn't using it of course. Any of the good that did come and was hoped to yet come always ended up not being enough, not being exactly right for me. Since others, who were a lot like me, were quite obviously where they belonged, I had to wonder if I wasn't really following to path of self-destruction more than anything else. Or perhaps, I was longing for something that didn't exist in the first place.

Regardless of what was really going on, I came to know I would end up back on the road quite awhile before I actually was. I would look for something that made a difference so I could stay but nothing ever did. Later on, it didn't take that much time at all to see that I once again didn't fit in. Even when I tried to make a place for myself and others who typically didn't fit in elsewhere. That might have been the thing that got me to question the whole premise. I mean when you can't fit into something that is custom made then the problem more than likely is you.

It took awhile to figure out all the ways the problem was me but also to see what wasn't. Needless to say, I'm still on the road. But my steps are slower and more meaningful. If I come upon a place to rest, I know it's for overnight at best. I sometimes wonder if I could have done better or if knowing better, I could have actually stayed on someplace without a whole lot of difficulty.

I can't help but miss many of the things that were quite meaningful to me. Some places were very hard to leave, especially the one that was as close to my hearts true home as I will get. I was genuinely happy there. But with time, my longing has changed and I'm not so much in need of what enlightenment might bring. I'll certainly take it if I run onto it, but I don't think will. I'm not going in that direction at the moment. ....But I do have a long way to go yet. 

DEQUESTRATION

Okay, you can't be on a spiritual quest full-time, but it's nice if you can be at least somewhat forward leaning no matter what else is going on. However, there are exceptions, or should I say - necessary exceptions. And this is one of those times. Given the insanity of US presidential elections, I would say that it's way too early to say anything. But it seems as they all have said enough to hang themselves in one way or the other with one group or the other. All of that could be chalked up to the usual political dysfunction, but one thing is way off the charts. 

Are people so desperate or so abused that they are actually considering an egomaniac? Perhaps it makes sense that only someone like Donald Trump can change the way Washington does the people's business. Or maybe instead of "Make America Great Again," they see "Make White America Great Again." I suspect it's a lot of things that have accumulated over many years of inaction and not caring because no one had the fortitude to pay the political cost of doing something that was fair, honest and above all ...right.

Whatever is fueling the Triumphalism on the Right, seems similar to the emerging Egalitarianism on the Left where promises of making life better are seen as always said and never done. But somehow a liberal from Vermont has made many believe that this time it will be different. I'm not sure if Bernie Sanders is saying anything that much different than he has always said. It may be more that people in their search for someone who really believes in what they are saying have come to the point of actually listening. I would be a fool to make any predictions or say that something is changing in American politics. ...But it is curious and has the potential for change, even if it is just one politician at a time.

BALANCING HEAVEN AND EARTH

Many no doubt know the old saying, "He's so heavenly minded that he's no earthly good," and the opposite saying, "She's so earthly minded that she's no heavenly good." (no implications are meant by the pronoun use) I always assumed there must be a balance that was the most encompassing and was expressed by walking between heaven and earth. Even though I could never achieve that, I never thought it was impossible. But I am coming to realize that other factors are involved. And not just the other similar sayings like, "It's a little bit of heaven on earth," that usually refer to someplace where people are particularly moral and nice, or at least do their best to appear so. There's also the rather dramatic statement in which someone "would move heaven and earth" to get or accomplish something. In other words, they would do whatever it takes or would do the impossible if it were possible. Either way, it seems like a daunting task. 

I honestly don't understand the various expressions about heaven and earth trading places, being turned upside down, or I don't have to go to the heaven because I can see it in your eyes. (that last one was a bit of a stretch) I would think that there had to be extraordinary conditions for such a thing to occur. But if it's that everything is mixed up, good and bad are the same thing, and life and death occurs in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons then I can see it being applied to war.

There are so many ways to understand heaven and earth. Literally, figuratively, spiritually, scientifically, and theologically are just a few. But when talking about heaven and earth, we usually assume the other person knows the way we're using them. I'm interested in the differences and details but even more as general concepts and realities. To me, earth is the physical creation, the cosmos and heaven is the spiritual creation and also the cosmos. They are two different orientations or realities that directly   make up our understanding and doing of life. The immaterial and material, the metaphysical and the physical, the tangible and intangible, the corporeal and the ethereal, the natural and the supernatural are all expressions of the difference between what can be touched with our hands and minds, and what can be touched with our hearts and minds. But further, I believe heaven and earth both reside within us to the point of making us walking paradoxes.

I am drawn to both and see part of heaven in earth and part of earth in heaven. But that doesn't help as much as you would think in finding a balance between the two if indeed that's the best place for me ...or anyone to be. I don't want my surgeon trying to find his balance until I wake up in the recovery room. When stopped for speeding by a cop and are about to get a ticket, do you ever ask, "Don't you think we ought to pray about this first?"

Likewise, there is a lot of beauty to be seen with your eyes, but there's also the beauty that you can only seen with your spirit. There's a lot of good that can be seen with the eyes, but then there's the good that can't be seen. Often times, you can sense it but at other times it may seem to be more than real. Some see a sense of power and eternality in the unseen.

Because we are so physical in the day to day routine, I think we too often forget to use our spiritual aspect more. I'm not sure the spiritual needs a similar care and feeding as some suggest. But there is something to taking time to focus on who you are as a spiritual person. We may never find the right balance but we will always need both. For me, they help me better see where there is good, where there is grace, and where there is gratitude in my own life.

Some see marked distinction between our spiritual desires (heaven) and our physical appetites (earth).  This has been a part of religious understanding for a long time and perhaps for good reasons. But you don't even have to go there. We don't live in some kind of utopia. There are many demands that have to be meant. Most spend a majority of their waking hours doing something physical or earthy. Let's face it, there are too many who are just trying to survive. I'm not saying that makes them less spiritual; I'm saying they are likely rather busy.

To some others, a balance of heaven and earth looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting. I think the painter of light makes you feel like all the things you don't like are gone leaving only what you do. Idealistic to be sure but immensely popular in it's sentimentality. But I can't disagree with the wishing or the longing.

Finding a sense of balance is certainly a part of feeling complete. But it comes in all sorts of colors, sizes, configurations and circumstances. Claims to superior physicality and superior spirituality fall very short, just as making any judgments based on appearance, success, position, education or talents do as well. How remarkable it is that God has reserved the right to be the only one who can read the scale of our lives.

CREDIT: MELANIE BEATTY, THOMAS KINKADE, CHUCK PALAHNUIK, LE LY HAYSLIP