NECESSARY GRACEFULNESS

Almost every time when they announce the death of someone on TV it ends with "Our thoughts and prayers are with the family at this difficult time," or something similar. I wonder how many, beyond a momentary reflection, really do pray for the family or have that many thoughts as to what they might be going through. It's far more just the thing that is said like "How are you doing?" Do you really want a long narrative or even a short report? Most likely, you are just being cordial because you're expecting them to give some pre-scripted response like "Fine", "Not bad" or "Can't complain." This exchange happens way too many times on radio call-in shows. I think we can generally agree that the host and the caller are okay except for what is being "discussed" at the moment. Does anyone expect in any normal discourse a rundown of medical conditions, mental heath problems in the family, or the number of relatives that have DOC numbers? It seems that superficial communication is the accepted norm which has the purpose of getting us from one place to another without a lot awkwardness, some might even call it necessary gracefulness ...or not completely telling the truth. Or at all.

In most cases, no one can be completely truthful or handle the complete truth. We live in made up worlds and play different roles from who we really are. Who has ever said, "Gee, grandma, this pie really sucks!" Or "You know boss, you're the biggest asshole that I have ever worked for." The best thing about Festivus is the airing of grievances. Also I'd like to hear what is really said on NASCAR radios but apparently calling another driver a fuck head is not allowed to be aired. I call this being part of the mainstream. 

It's not that they don't deal with truth just not the complete truth. They also very seldom take anything to its logical conclusion. Mainly because such a severe reality usually makes for some rather awkward relationships and insufferable television shows. Truth can be very offensive or quite embarrassing. Some say keep it 100 or be totally real. But that still seems to be talking about more or less  acceptable areas. Many areas are totally taboo or at least should be. Sex is not one of them, except for the venereal disease part. 

Being vetted is tossed around a lot. I often wonder how far they really go. Similarly, I wonder what it takes to get a security clearance. I love those exercises or games where you have to tell something awful about yourself that nobody knows. A word to the wise, don't participate in these if you've been drinking. But I'm guessing, most everyone knows that one. Unfortunately, if you persist in something awful or something that's completely opposite of what claim to be, the chances are that you'll get caught. And sometimes, it might be in a very big and public way. There is no necessary gracefulness that covers such a situation. 

When you live in the margins, it's a little harder to be offended or embarrassed. You might have done some awful things. But chances are they don't matter so much. You have given up on trying to explain your life or trying to make acceptable excuses. You can only fail at the game for so long. But there's a little bit of ecstasy involved in giving up or running out of social energy. I wouldn't say its contentment but rather knowing that you're not missing anything, that there are no other areas to explore, that there's nothing else that can make a difference. You accept all of the paradoxes of life and faith. And when someone asks how you are doing? You'll probably just smile and say, "Fine. ...And you?" 


A BONUS OFFENSE

I'M IN THE LORD'S ARMY! (PART ONE)

I'm not sure how pervasive the Sunday School Choruses of my childhood were but you probably had to be in certain traditions in order to recognize the one about being in the Lord's Army. As with many of the choruses, it came with fun action gestures. This one had pretending like your were marching, riding a horse, shooting a rifle or handgun if you preferred and making the motion of a plane flying over plus doing real salutes. What's not to like?

I may never march in the infantry

Ride in the cavalry

Shoot the artillery

I may never fly o'er the enemy

But I'm in the Lord's army!

Yes Sir!

I'm in the Lord's army!

Yes sir!

I'm in the Lord's army!

Yes sir!

I may never march in the infantry

Ride in the cavalry

Shoot the artillery

I may never fly o'er the enemy

But I'm in the Lord's army!

Yes sir!

My thinking at that point wasn't too militaristic, but I went with the flow. Not having anything to challenge the concept, I assumed it somehow had its place along the side of the many, many Bible stories and other action songs like "Deep and Wide" and "This Little Light of Mine." My awareness of any conflict between war and peace was quite limited for many years as I readily accepted the popular 'peace is preferred but war is sometimes necessary' construct. Like many kids I played WAR far more than I played PEACE. Actually, I can't quite remember how playing PEACE even goes. I went through several cap guns and other arms like the sawed off rifle from "Wanted Dead or Alive." Sometimes playing WAR ended up in arguing over if it was a mortal wound or not. But if you had enough participants to fight against, it could be a lot of fun.

Because of circumstances and a working knowledge of wound severity, I also collected and played with a plastic army of soldiers in various positions, jeeps, tanks and artillery pieces. It was about the only time I got to be the Field Commander. Frankly, the job wasn't all that hard and I only lost 10-20% of the battles. But when my interest turned to cars, it also turned to real guns. I bought a 303 British deer (formerly human) rifle from my Grandpa Hill. Shooting it and various other rifles was exciting but the best fun was getting a box of 22's and spend a Saturday afternoon shooting everything that looked like it needed to be shot. One time a picture of sign I shot a few times appeared in the paper. It didn't take much to make the news where I grew up. 

However, by the time I reached the real army, the only living thing that I had killed with a gun was a deer and maybe a woodchuck or two. Oddly, the Drill Sergeant explained that it was pretty much the same dynamics to kill a human. Fortunately, I was going into a MOS that tried to save those who were injured. The job fell somewhere in between CHINA BEACH and MASH. I liked medical work but didn't get along too well with Army ways. 

Similarly, helping the wounded was the only job I wanted in the Lord's Army and that hasn't changed very much over the years. My lack of a this worldly vision and focus was quite limiting. So when it came to church work, I was more like a Beetle Bailey than a Sergeant York. The best I ever did was make it into the Christian "F Troop." Even with knowing most the verses to the "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," I couldn't muster up enough zeal for the REAL BATTLES of church politics. The song is still rather inspiring and lyrically it still carries the feel of a worthy theological conquest.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored,
He has loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword
His truth is marching on.

Chorus:
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps
His day is marching on.
Chorus

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnish`d rows of steel,
"As ye deal with my contemnors, so with you my grace shall deal;"
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel
Since God is marching on.
Chorus

He has sounded from the trumpet that shall never call retreat
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.
Chorus

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.
Chorus



I spent time, or maybe did time, in several conservative churches but also a couple traditional and liberal churches as well. I never fit in. I admit that I wasn't the ideal candidate. Let's just say that whatever happens at YFC camp doesn't stay at YFC camp. Despite any indiscretions, I sincerely pursued a calling only to find out much later that I wasn't a people person. I first thought that to be rather funny until I realized that I could have at least committed to something that paid better or better fit who I really was. But I did see and learn a lot.  As Nora Ephron said, "Everything is copy."

I had to laugh the other day when I was listening to a podcast. A person said how proud she was to have been selected to remove or change all of the offensive language from a church hymnal. I imagine sexist pronouns, negative ideas, militant expressions, questionable beliefs, and exclusive sentiments were among the targets. I think that's a pun ...but maybe not. She was obviously in THAT part of the army. I could imagine her not even knowing where her shield, helmet and sword were.

There is a reason Amish believers don't make good police officers or infantrymen (infantry persons if you prefer). I am very, very, very anti-war but in this world, I rather fight than lay down my arms, especially if it would protect the innocent. I would say family and friends, but some of them would really struggle trying to pass the innocent test. Don't pretend to not know who you are. The defense of others is the choice we make. It would help if it were more black and white. War is horrible, but it's made worse when everything is some shade of gray.

ALEPPO'S CHILDREN

I'm not sure when the world will be free of cruel despots, religious zealots, militant politicians, and despicable arms dealers, but it can not be soon enough (as always). While so much attention is being paid on the next president, it helps to put it all into a more realistic perspective.

After graduating from a seminary that has long ago disavowed any knowledge of me, I must admit that very little stuck. But the one thing that did stick is Jesus saying, "Suffer the little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for such is the kingdom of heaven." (Mt 19:14) No matter how you interpret this verse, it is obvious that we're a long way off from its fulfillment.

GOING HOME

I still call the place where I haven't lived in 40 yrs "back home." If you're lucky, you have a place that is indelibly imprinted in every part of your being, no matter how far away you have wandered from it. I've spent time wondering what it would be like if I stayed. I made several decisions to return but never did. But I do recognize how much that area had to do with my early formation and how easy it is to slip into talking as if I never left.

Now that I'm getting close to the BIG GOING HOME experience, I've been thinking of how much of this world I would really miss. Perhaps it's something like not appreciating something until it's gone. I'd rather think that it's a culmination of all things or maybe my denouement. I am earthly. I like water, dirt, trees, rocks, sky and just about every other part of the creation. I even like the world of man - parts of anyway. I loved to ski and ride motorcycle, to go to good restaurants and bad bars, to go to midnight mass and to stock car races, to go on road trips and to sleep in the back yard; I loved to go to the mountains and to the sea, to shop in small towns and find places to buy real cider; I loved doing most anything with friends and how relatives became even more important as time went on, to cook a favorite meal and to watch a favorite TV show, and so much more. 

You can guess then that the idea of getting heavenly as heaven is usually thought doesn't appeal to me very much. I like it here just find - even with all that one has to put up to do so. But I can imagine taking away the wars, the politics, the poverty, the disease, the hate, the ignorance, the greed, the pain, the disasters and the like. For me, it would be heaven on earth. So I'm negotiating for a cabin in the woods howbeit a twenty-room cabin by a lake. If more is offered, a speedway would be nice with Danica Patrick to race against and perhaps a bar like "Sloppy Joe's" where I could talk with Ernest Hemingway about why he committed suicide. I wouldn't want more because that would be overdoing. 

Streets of gold are not for me. Give me a good old pre-Walmart home town USA with a 5&10, a diner, a one screen movie theater, a place to buy art supplies, a pool hall, a hardware and of course an auto parts store along with all the noted features that make up a good life. Or just about any town in the Twilight Zone series where the main character was tired of the way it was and wanted to return to what they knew growing up. So I guess I better add a carousel and a bandstand that are in a park with a really interesting water fountain. 

Going home can take on many imaginations. Everyone can remember the nostalgic longing and increased anticipation of nearing home after being away for a while, especially when there was the chance of never seeing it again. But if the next life isn't exactly as I would like it, I rather doubt if I'm going to ask if there is anything else available. Those with confirmed reservations are likely to get the best locations. I'm prepared not to be one of the elect, but it would be really great if I was seen as an also ran. I'd like to think I earned it by making God laugh. ....At least a couple of times. 

NASCAR SPIRITUALITY

There has been ...several, actually many who claim a particular sport or physical activity gives spiritual insight and personal growth. From surfing to cross training, from golf to long distance running, and from martial arts to fishing, they all have been said to have a spirituality that can make your personal faith even more meaningful in a very special way. In NASCAR, we like fast cars, hot women, cold beer, and slow dancing. So you wouldn't think that there was anything spiritual about sitting on a couch or in the stands watching cars go round and round and round and round. But I dare guess there's just as much as is claimed by proponents of other sports.

Who among us hasn't spiritually ran out of gas? Who hasn't run into a spiritual wall at full speed? Who hasn't been let down by their spiritual pit crew? Who hasn't had their spiritual engine lose a cylinder? Or who hasn't had it blow up altogether? Everyone knows how hard it is to get a spiritual victory. It takes time, training, knowledge, commitment, experience and generous support. Seems a lot like a spiritual journey to me.

Granted, I'm talking about sitting on your ass watching drivers who are also sitting on their asses in cars that they complain are too loose or too tight all through the race. Only on rare occasions is the car just the way they want it to be. Mainly because they would then have no excuse for losing the race. The best possible scenario is to win the race with at least 10 things wrong with your car. The fete' is even more impressive if you come from the back of the field after being two laps down as the result of spinning out because of a blown tire, or a gentle nudge from one of your competitors, that caused enough damage to ruin the aerodynamics and overall handling. If there isn't some spiritual insight gained from seeing someone win against so many odds, I'm pretty sure you're just watching for only the wrecks and crashes, especially  "the big one."

Some stereotype spirituality as being calm, quiet, ascetic,  peaceful, introspective, inspirational and far more ethereal than physical. That's all well and good, but I don't think it's that exclusive. I'm one who believes there is a spiritual aspect to all things including evil. Some would argue that some things just aren't that spiritual. And I agree. A landfill doesn't seem that inspirational. Whereas a beautiful sunset makes us stop if only for a moment to take it in. But to have a more complete understanding, it might better be that the sun was setting over a landfill, or something similar.

You might well ask then, "Are you saying that NASCAR spirituality is like a sunset over a landfill?" Yeah, pretty much. It is noise, ill feelings, combativeness, stretching the rules, taking advantage, blocking progress, swearing, malingering, sand bagging, revenge, physical discussions (fights), and temper tantrums as much as it is encouragement, commitment, caring, sharing, endurance, patience, team work, communication, dealing with the unexpected and some faith in life. And like other parts of life, a little luck always helps and never hurts.

For several years NASCAR was growing in relative obscurity. Once the Daytona track was built it began to create interest outside of the southern motherland and eventually the races became to be regularly broadcasted on television. Winston (cigarettes) was the sponsor for mainly years until it was choked out by general well being. But the Confederate flag remained until just recently. The commercial possibilities grew from auto related products to such sponsors as Viagra and Liberty University. I have to be honest, it was mostly redneck and cracker drivers for many years then it expanded to white drivers from other areas of the country. Finally, a female joined the lineup along with other non-white drivers. Some of which rose up through NASCA's diversity program. Other changes like racing at tracks throughout the country both oval and road courses, extremely improved safety, strict regulations, athletic pit crews and continual changes in car dynamics allowed for fans to follow their favorite drivers for many years. I can't say that all of the changes went smoothly but eventually, the contrast between the old and new was quite vivid. I don't think there's any need to point out the spiritual applications.

NASCAR does not race on Easter and Mother's Day. For years, even the hardest living driver knew not to mess with faith or mom. It's strong God, Family and Country ethic is fueled by countless local stock car tracks that offer prayer for safety on the track and in life, the national anthem, close racing with the usual histrionics; good tasting food; loud country music; an announcer you can't hear very well; a lot of dirt, brake dust and exhaust fumes; questionable restrooms; lots of different smells; and of course souvenirs, t-shirts and race photos. But most of all, whether at the smallest track or the biggest track, there's an shared ethos that is distinct even though much is what you would find in many other sports.   


In high school senior English, we were to write a paper about our future. I wrote that I planned to participate in the spectator sport of auto racing. Brian Stallard, the teacher, was somewhat incensed.  Apparently, such was not a legitimate career choice. I don't think he quite understood. There was a driver in every fan and a fan in every driver. But only a few gladiators got to compete in the biggest arenas in the fastest cars. And I had already seen Jimmie Clark, Graham Hill, Jackie Stewart and other famous drivers in person and had seen them race at Watkins Glen which over the years has hosted a variety of racing, including NASCAR. To this day, "Watkins" has been one of my spiritual homes. Auto racing obviously wasn't commonly seen as spiritually meaningful, actually quite the opposite. But some of our spirituality has to be defined in the context of where and how we live, whether you're a gearhead or not.



BONUS PIC

CREDIT: GETTY IMAGES, NASCAR

LIFE IS A PAIR OF DUCKS

"Bless me Father for I have sinned." But not real badly. ...I hope anyway. I can easily drift off, be distracted, lose concentration, get lost in some tangential thought or have a long, involved daydream. Over the years this has improved some but apparently not that much. I can look at one You Tube of those audition shows where everyone wonders why the contestant is there in the first place then they wow the audience and the judges with their amazing voice and soul. Even with knowing that some of this has to be a put on, it's still rather exciting, tearful and memorable. Then of course, I have to watch another one. Four hours later, I start to get a little jaded. It's obvious that a recent death in the family or anything to do with cancer goes a long way. And I have to question why there's always one or two guys in the wing that are rubbing up against the contestant's mother or significant other. You just know there's some real groping when the camera isn't on them.

But this is only one kind of magical moment to get lost in. I love it when someone in the produce section of a grocery store begins to sing a familiar American pop song. That's a special moment in itself but then one by one others join in. And soon the aisles are full of a harmonious sound and dancing. Most of shoppers' faces express unexpected joy and happiness. Some, no doubt, are irritated with the interruption. Probably the last thing they wanted was an encounter with a magic moment. Mass breakouts or flash mobs happen in food courts and churches, at concerts and weddings (I haven't seen one happen at a funeral, but it's only time before one does), and on streets and buses, almost anyplace where the unusual can disrupt the properness of commonality.  

It's just as easy to get lost watching military service people come home early from their last deployment to surprise family, friends or pets. Some of the children's responses can be heartbreaking and so genuine. They may be why I keep watching. Having been in that situation during the Vietnam War, I can better imagine my return home as a surprise. ____But things were different then. I love how pets get so excited when they see their service member after such a long time. Note: it's usually dogs; cats want an explanation for the absence. Thoughts of pets then remind me that there are an endless number of puppy and kitten videos to watch. The cuteness factor is off the chart, but the animal rescue stories are the best. Transformations through love and care are always inspiring signs of hope.

Surprising magical moments, whether real or contrived, are few as compared to the day in and day out routines of life. Sure, there's a spiritual understanding that says ordinary life can be magical and we would do well to be grateful for all the little moments that fill our day. I trust that I never get to the place where sunrises and sunsets are just part of another uneventful day. But even if the many moments of sublimity aren't considered as commonplace, they don't make up for the less than magical realities of life. I mean all of life, not just the little corner that I live in. 

Because the great teacher lived high on a mountain that was far from the village, a young man was sent on the journey to ask him what life was all about, as there was such a dissension amongst the villagers. When he returned, he told them that the great teacher said if they truly wanted to know, they would have to send the oldest man in the village. After along while, the old man finally returned. The villagers excitedly asked what the great teacher said hoping that he had confirmed what they believed. The old man told them the great teacher said that life was a pair of ducks. They immediately asked if the great teacher said anything else. The old man replied, "He said it was the only thing that made sense." With that, the villagers were sad, as no one had picked a pair of ducks to be what life was all about.

MODERNITY AND MATURITY

Punishment for blasphemy is such a moving target. One person's pardon is another person's beheading. The severity involved seems to come from believing that God is offended by disobedience, disrespect, disbelief or distain of sacred teachings, sacred rules, sacred things and sacred persons. Then of course, if God is offended then so should any faithful follower. And this brings them right up against modernity, as have so many other fortressed institutions, ethnocentric cultures, corporate practices, and manipulated justices.

It's hard to maintain a futurist faith when the world with some of the most amazing advances could be done in by primitive religion, sectarian politics, classism, racism and gross disparity. Apparently, cockroaches and some other specialized creatures are the only ones that can survive the destruction of the earth. I can only hope that they then evolve in a more civilized way. 

But first, let us take a moment to appreciate all that some would readily throw away. Even with the tragic natural events, the Earth is a special creation that I am daily in awe of and grateful for. The other thing is the anticipation of how far science can go in discovery and development. I'm pretty happy with what has been accomplished thus far, but in so many ways, we're only at the beginning.

Humans do well in the physical realm, not so great in the mental and emotional realms, and quite poorly in the spiritual realm. (tasks, elements, aspects or something similar could be used just as well) One might theorize that the mental, emotional and spiritual realms need to catch up to the physical in order to best utilize future advances. Such might be problematic to say the least but one area that would help in a big way is maturity. Which usually means doing what is best for all, making the difficult choice, defending the weak and innocent, knowing what needs to be done, keeping on task, changing when needed, admitting that you made a mistake, and accepting that if you get nothing beyond having your basic needs meant that it will be okay with you.

Modernity comes with it's own particular set of problems. But these will be better resolved if we 'really' believe that all humans are created equal. You can't make yourself more equal but many still try. You can make yourself less equal, which many have done but usually deny it. Also, the more we apply the Golden Rule, the more we will appreciate being equal to others. The problem of superiority is active in every area of life. Some might say that's just the way things are. Or, it's a practical way to order society. Funny how intellect, wealth and position along with race and culture are the usual considerations to determine superiority. ...But why? It's rather obvious that those with a pure and clean heart should have been given more attention. But just not automatically assuming that others are inferior by some subjective or learned standard would be a good start. Not killing or assaulting them would be even better.